Just ignore.... NOT!
One of the worst pieces of advice one could receive is to ignore.
Just Ignore… NOT! Why Avoidance is the Worst Advice You Can Follow
One of the worst pieces of advice anyone can give is to “just ignore it.” While this approach might seem like the path of least resistance, it often does more harm than good. Encouraging someone to ignore their problems, conflicts, or emotions undercuts the complexity of human growth and denies the opportunities for healing and transformation that challenges provide.
This notion of ignoring often comes wrapped in New Age toxic positivity, an overly simplistic belief system that insists on focusing only on positive thoughts and ignoring anything uncomfortable. While appealing at first glance, this approach is not just unhelpful, it’s harmful. Let's explore why "just ignoring" is flawed and how to take a healthier, more constructive approach to life's difficulties.
The Psychological Trap of Ignoring
Ignoring is essentially a defense mechanism, a way to avoid dealing with discomfort. However, this tactic often backfires. Here’s why:
1. Problems Don’t Disappear
Ignoring issues, whether they’re personal conflicts, emotional struggles, or systemic injustices, is akin to sweeping dirt under the rug. The mess doesn’t go away; it accumulates. Unresolved problems tend to resurface, often in more disruptive or harmful ways.
Ignoring an emotional wound is like neglecting an abscess; it festers and can become life-threatening if left untreated. Similarly, ignoring toxic relationships, manipulations, or abuse allows them to persist, eroding one’s mental and emotional well-being over time.
2. Avoidance Fuels Anxiety
Psychologically, avoiding an issue creates a cycle of fear and inaction. Each time you choose not to confront a problem, you reinforce the idea that the problem is too big or too scary to handle. Over time, avoidance can exacerbate feelings of helplessness and anxiety, trapping you in a cycle of inaction.
3. Missed Opportunities for Growth
Challenges are life’s teachers. They offer lessons in resilience, self-awareness, and interpersonal skills. By ignoring them, you miss valuable opportunities for growth and transformation. Life’s difficulties are not just obstacles; they are catalysts for change and evolution.
The Philosophical Perspective: Why Facing Challenges Matters
From a philosophical standpoint, avoidance contradicts the essence of human existence. Great thinkers have long emphasized the importance of grappling with life’s struggles:
Friedrich Nietzsche believed that adversity is essential for growth, famously stating, “What does not kill me makes me stronger.” Confronting challenges builds character and fortitude.
Carl Jung, the father of analytical psychology, argued that integrating the shadow, the darker, often ignored aspects of the psyche, is essential for wholeness. Ignoring these parts leads to fragmentation and unresolved inner conflict.
Stoic philosophers, such as Marcus Aurelius, taught that obstacles are not to be avoided but embraced as opportunities for practicing virtue and wisdom.
In essence, to ignore is to deny our humanity and the rich complexity of life.