Just ignore.... NOT!

One of the worst pieces of advice one could receive is to ignore.

Guzalia Davis

Just Ignore… NOT! Why Avoidance is the Worst Advice You Can Follow

One of the worst pieces of advice anyone can give is to “just ignore it.” While this approach might seem like the path of least resistance, it often does more harm than good. Encouraging someone to ignore their problems, conflicts, or emotions undercuts the complexity of human growth and denies the opportunities for healing and transformation that challenges provide.

This notion of ignoring often comes wrapped in New Age toxic positivity, an overly simplistic belief system that insists on focusing only on positive thoughts and ignoring anything uncomfortable. While appealing at first glance, this approach is not just unhelpful, it’s harmful. Let's explore why "just ignoring" is flawed and how to take a healthier, more constructive approach to life's difficulties.

The Psychological Trap of Ignoring

Ignoring is essentially a defense mechanism, a way to avoid dealing with discomfort. However, this tactic often backfires. Here’s why:

1. Problems Don’t Disappear

Ignoring issues, whether they’re personal conflicts, emotional struggles, or systemic injustices, is akin to sweeping dirt under the rug. The mess doesn’t go away; it accumulates. Unresolved problems tend to resurface, often in more disruptive or harmful ways.

Ignoring an emotional wound is like neglecting an abscess; it festers and can become life-threatening if left untreated. Similarly, ignoring toxic relationships, manipulations, or abuse allows them to persist, eroding one’s mental and emotional well-being over time.

2. Avoidance Fuels Anxiety

Psychologically, avoiding an issue creates a cycle of fear and inaction. Each time you choose not to confront a problem, you reinforce the idea that the problem is too big or too scary to handle. Over time, avoidance can exacerbate feelings of helplessness and anxiety, trapping you in a cycle of inaction.

3. Missed Opportunities for Growth

Challenges are life’s teachers. They offer lessons in resilience, self-awareness, and interpersonal skills. By ignoring them, you miss valuable opportunities for growth and transformation. Life’s difficulties are not just obstacles; they are catalysts for change and evolution.

The Philosophical Perspective: Why Facing Challenges Matters

From a philosophical standpoint, avoidance contradicts the essence of human existence. Great thinkers have long emphasized the importance of grappling with life’s struggles:

Friedrich Nietzsche believed that adversity is essential for growth, famously stating, “What does not kill me makes me stronger.” Confronting challenges builds character and fortitude.
Carl Jung, the father of analytical psychology, argued that integrating the shadow, the darker, often ignored aspects of the psyche, is essential for wholeness. Ignoring these parts leads to fragmentation and unresolved inner conflict.
Stoic philosophers, such as Marcus Aurelius, taught that obstacles are not to be avoided but embraced as opportunities for practicing virtue and wisdom.

In essence, to ignore is to deny our humanity and the rich complexity of life.

The Dangers of Willful Ignorance

When we ignore challenges, especially those tied to societal issues like inequality, corruption, or injustice, we risk falling into willful ignorance. This is not just personal avoidance, it’s a collective problem.

Willful ignorance allows harmful systems to thrive. It perpetuates bullying, abuse, and unfair treatment. By turning a blind eye, we become complicit in the very problems we wish to avoid. Silence and inaction, under the guise of ignoring, empower the oppressor and disenfranchise the oppressed.

Practical Advice: How to Face Problems Constructively

Whether you’re dealing with personal issues or larger societal challenges, here are practical ways to confront problems rather than ignoring them:

1. Name the Problem

Awareness is the first step. Identify the issue clearly—what is bothering you, and why? Naming the problem removes its power and gives you a starting point for action.

2. Process Your Emotions

Allow yourself to feel. Anger, sadness, fear, or frustration are natural responses to challenges. Journaling, meditating, or speaking to a trusted friend or therapist can help you process these emotions constructively.

3. Take Incremental Action

Facing a problem doesn’t mean tackling everything at once. Break it into manageable steps. For example:

Confronting a bully? Start by setting clear boundaries.
Overwhelmed by a life change? Create a step-by-step plan to regain control.

4. Seek Support

No one has to face life’s challenges alone. Surround yourself with a support system, friends, mentors, or professional, who can guide and encourage you.

5. Learn the Lesson

Every challenge has a lesson, even if it’s not immediately apparent. Reflect on what the situation is teaching you about yourself, others, or the world.

6. Address Systemic Issues

When facing societal problems, ignoring them is not an option. Educate yourself, advocate for change, and take collective action. Start small, whether it’s signing a petition or having meaningful conversations in your community.

When to “Ignore” (Strategically)

To be clear, not every situation demands confrontation. Sometimes, choosing not to engage is a strategic decision, not avoidance. Here’s when ignoring might be appropriate:

Trolling or Provocation: Some people thrive on eliciting reactions. Silence can be a powerful response.
Energy Conservation: If a situation offers no opportunity for growth or resolution, walking away might be the best choice for your well-being.

The key is discernment, choosing when to act and when to let go, based on what serves your highest good.

Final Thoughts

“Just ignore it” might seem like easy advice, but it often does more harm than good. Ignoring challenges denies us the opportunity to grow, heal, and transform. It perpetuates personal stagnation and societal dysfunction.

Instead, we must face life’s difficulties head-on, with courage, clarity, and compassion. By acknowledging problems, addressing them constructively, and learning from them, we can turn obstacles into stepping stones.

So, let’s leave “just ignore” behind and embrace a more empowered approach to life. Growth, after all, is found not in avoidance but in engagement.